Our kids are getting older and I enjoy every developmental step in their lives. Our oldest is going to college next fall. They are all doing their own thing. Questions arise….do they know enough to be on their own, do they know what to do in an emergency, did we teach them enough? Social skills, life skills, internet danger? For now, I’d like them to be part of the family right here, right now …in our house! Which fun family activities can we do, which can still be part of their and our busy schedules….AND can teach them about life skills?
Why is it so hard having teenagers in the house?
Internet
Looking back at the toddler days, when the kids were throwing temper tantrums in the middle of a store or we were so tired by staying up all night with them. Now, they’re teens, other nerve wrecking situations are emerging. They are trying to be an adult, but their brains aren’t developed to think more maturely. Even though they think they know everything…just look it up on the internet! (nerve wrecking situation #1). The internet is full of dangers, not to mention the time they spend on the internet is sometimes impressive, and not in a good way. Sometimes it’s a great tool. As I’m writing this blog, our middle and youngest are playing an online game together and that is their bonding time. I hear them talk strategies and laugh!
Respect
As toddlers, they got into a fight and started crying and hitting. You taught them to talk about emotions, to show them they are hurting other children and how to apologize, to be respectful of each other in some ways. Now, the teens live in their own world. They have strong opinions, don’t clean up after themselves, even though they know that the bathroom is being used being other family members, decline to help the neighbor shoveling snow from their driveway etc. “Oh, mom, can you bring me to…? Like, right now?” They aren’t driving yet (Nerve wrecking situation #2). It is not about turning the steering wheel and breaking on time, but reading traffic situations, being respectful of others.
Life Skills
When the kids were young, they always helped me in the kitchen, outside in the garden, help fold the laundry and organize a cabinet. This has become less and less. I’m not expecting them to sew on a button (secretly I do expect it!), but make themselves a healthy meal, wash their clothes and manage their money are important skills to have and practice. I’m happy to be part of a CCLS curriculum (Consciousness, Connections, Life Skills) at school to do projects for our middle school students. We did a survey first and it was great to see all kinds of skills the students want to learn. How to wear a tie? Wood working skills. How to bake bread?
Interestingly enough, our teens are not easy to motivate to do something with the family. We cannot come to an agreement which movie we’re going to watch, or a board game we’re going to play. Now I’m thinking about other activities, because it is not teaching them much…in their minds.
Fun activities to do with teenagers which are not boring and teaching them life skills.
1. Conversation Starter at Dinner
One of the rare moments in the day of us being ALL together as a family, is at the dinner table. Not only are we talking about things which are going on in our lives or what happened that day, but sometimes dad and I are throwing in a question like: “What would you do if….”. Here is a great website with good ideas and questions.
2. Cooking around the world
I am so excited about this one. We just started this regular activity last weekend and the first time seemed a big success. I looked up which countries have an interesting culinary scene, wrote those, about 20 of them, on small pieces of paper and put them in a jar. Two weeks ago my son started and took one paper out. It was India. Everyone in our family picks out a dish from that country and makes it. This means they need to do research, make a grocery list, go with us to the store if possible and communicate with others when to use the stove and oven. It was a fun experience and I was impressed how well the kids cooked. The kids made mango lassi (our youngest, 10), samosas (our middle, 16) and chapati’s and rice (or oldest, 17) peas and paneer (dad) and butter chicken (mom). Next time it’ll be Morocco.
This activity teaches them so much and I really hope they’ll keep asking about it more as time goes on.
3. Finders Seekers Monthly Escape Room Game
I really want to try this, but as my kids love Escape Rooms, “Finders Seekers” might be our next thing to try. Also, because it involves new places around the world where you try to solve a mystery. This is a monthly subscription and a box with a new mystery will be send to your house. On their blog you’ll find recipes and songs to set the mood for that city while you solve the mystery.
3. Relaxing
At the school the kids learn a meditation technique, they’ll learn throughout the years and practice it daily. This can be a great tool to help in stressful situations, take relaxing time for yourself on a daily base. At home we found this fun activity to do around Valentine’s Day. I was not thinking about it when we first started (it was only for my husband and I), but the kids wanted to do it too. So here we are, about 10 years later and the kids are coming out of their rooms to do this activity with us.
4. Travel
It seems like talking to a teenager is not an easy thing to do. They won’t talk at all, or they’re getting upset easily. One of the things that seems to help is talking in a car. Maybe because they don’t have to look at you straight in the eye?
One of the things we do as a family is traveling. A few years ago we took a Europe trip and recently we bought an RV and had an epic road trip last summer. As long as we had activities planned, the kids were all there, like horse back riding, white water rafting, or going up a mountain in a gondola. A simple hike or going to a restaurant wasn’t always something they wanted to do, so they stayed in the RV and either made their own food or we brought something back for them.
5. Explore a City
This comes with traveling. Exploring a city. There are several activities we do to get everyone involved. There is Pokémon Go, Geocaching and Let’s Roam. All of these apps combine walking around a city with a goal or purpose.
Pokémon Go we started years ago when the kids were into those Pokémon cards, the series and now the app. Sometimes they meet people who are doing the same “battle” at the same time and the same place.
Geocaching is a great app as well, where you get locations on a map to find so called “caches”. Sometimes they’re small like a screw and nut, with barely some room for a rolled up log to sign your name and date. Sometimes they’re bigger and little trinkets can be found. You can take one, and replace it with something else. These caches are all over the world!
And newly discovered: Let’s Roam! Last year we went to Nashville and took this scavenger hunt. It was a great walk, questions to answer, pictures to take and great information about the city we would’ve never known if we would just walked around the city instead!
6. Family Olympics
When Mother’s Day comes around and spring is here, the kids know that I don’t want presents from them. The only thing I want that day is for us to be together and doing fun activities. We went for bike trips around our town which has an 18 mile bike trail, or we stay home, bake something together, watch a movie and play board games.
A few years ago we set up a Family Olympics event. And because we’re a half Dutch, half American family, I had to mix in some crazy Dutch games like “Spijkerpoepen” and “Koek Happen”. Here you can find some more typical Dutch games.
Below you’ll find some example with games you can play with your family. The scoresheet below is free to print out for you.
7. Indoor Treasure Hunts
Around December 6th when we celebrate “Sinterklaas”, we (I mean “Sinterklaas”) sets up one of these Indoor Treasure Hunts. I’m not sure if they come out of their rooms because of the game or because there is some Dutch Candy involved at the end!!!
I hope your teens will communicate and want to spend time with you with these activities. If you have some super fun ideas, please share them with me!
Hello everyone,
Welcome to my Crafty Dutch Girl blog! Grab a cup of “koffie” and browse through fun blog posts about our Dutch family expat life in the USA, Dutch history, Dutch recipes, Dutch things to do in the USA and all kinds of crafts and activities. Don’t forget to connect with me for new ideas! “Groetjes en tot ziens”.